From Russia With Love

For those who have been thinking about the previous abrupt blog entry, let me announce that I manage to get back what is rightfully mine through words of a forceful mind. Here I am on a lonely thursday night, typing away with a heart of dismay... ... why? My future seems bleak...again.

For one, I have heard news from the relevant authorities that they do not consider me as a suitable candidate for the SMU scholarship. In effect, that means that 5K a year is gone and all the saving plans I have made earlier on is...poof...down the drain. That 20K isn't all that matters to me really, rather the emotional setback is whats giving me a real kick in the ass. Am I simply "not there" ? Pwee... Psc was a tough one so being rejected was fine. Firefly was a stunner. Home affairs was a disappointment and now even SMU scholarship have had been deemed "not qualified", gosh. I find only myself o blame for just being "not there"... Was seriously condiering retaking SAT1 because I believe thats the veto factor that I am lacking.

Yet, on a positive light, its when this kind of things happen that I realise my strength. Probably the only thing I have in me that has made me what I am today. Fighting Spirit and words from a wise man "Taking longer and tougher routes will still lead you to your destination, just that you get to learn more and see greater things." Honestly, I see myself emerging triumphant with effort. Afterall, theres no point comparing. People tend to make comparison with those that are better, higher, greater. All that they get out of it is negative feelings and some willow in pathetic self-pity. Stand up, be a man and learn that one needs to be positive to be able to look at what he wants and not what he have failed to get. With a clenched fist raised high up above your head, say "I"

Hmm...speaking of victories, it reminds me of the skill at arms competition between the various companies today. My section emerged first for both drills we were involved in. Then, when the competitors failed to meet ATEC standards for the camo drill, my section was again called - all of a sudden, with no preparation. we went up the BX and we did it. First! Its not me that brought us the 3 victories, but the combined effort of all my man and my KB Sect Commdr that did us proud. Because WE are that good. That Good!

Some should know the sad and frustrating story of my driver giving my NDP vehicle a terrible painting. While I desperately tried to remedy the situation with some thinner it got worst and my vehicle's hull wa "gone f**k". After days of desperately trying to get the correct paint colour and painting technique - cos its sprayed on, not painted - I finally got it a decent makeover. Haiz. Gone case la.

And so, poor me will be going back to camp in an hours time because I am DS tomorrow morning. After which I will be doing some low loading of Vehicle to Padang. Then I will sleep there, in my vehicle until the morning when there will be some formal rehearsal. Some roads will be closed for Armour to ROLL IN. When it all "ends", we will low load the vehicles back overnight and hopefully get to book out on Sunday morning. Probably grab some nap before I go for class gathering in the evening. Will book in straight after that I guess. Haiz....Sad life ah...

No time to go to heeren to shop for clothes and accessories...
No new business contacts and potential clients...
No chance to sleep on my bed for 2 weeks...
No chance to go and watch movie...
No 20K over 4 years and free laptop from SMU...
What I have....NDP participation...don't even have "preview" tickets...

Haiz....